Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
