He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
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