Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
