I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
