you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he puts the penis in happiness.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
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I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
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It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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