Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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