butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
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