Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
tonight lets celebrate not being married
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went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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