apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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