she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
