White coat. Heels.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
