Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
