Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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