Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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