it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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