Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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