I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
