Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
