yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
