holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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