Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
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I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
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No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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