OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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