I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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