just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
