I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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