Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
