I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
