If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
