ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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