Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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