we're chasing vodka with high fives
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
