BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Randomize
