So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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