how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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