Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? 😭😭
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize