Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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