dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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