Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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