My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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