love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
