what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
