I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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