New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
