Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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