He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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