what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
