we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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