Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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