You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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