I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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