I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
