Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
