Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
