We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
