I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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