When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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