I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.