I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!