if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
she smelled like a LAN party
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.