soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
