I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize