you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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